How To Find An LGBTQ-Friendly Therapist

There are some unique struggles that queer and trans folks face when trying to access mental health care. From finding an LGBTQ-friendly therapist to clicking with a practitioner who can affirm their gender identity, it’s not always easy. Brie Scolaro, LMSW (they) licensed social worker and Aspire Psychotherapy Co-Director joins @MyWellBeing for this interview on finding an LGBTQ+ therapist.

No, your therapist will not make you come out

An LGBTQIA-competent therapist will never force someone to come out,” said Brie Scolaro, a therapist and MyWellbeing community member. “While some folx start therapy to specifically work on thoughts about their sexuality, gender identity, and/or gender expression, others are looking to work on something completely unrelated, like sleep or career performance. As the patient, you get to decide what to target in therapy and your therapist should non-judgmentally and collaboratively work with you toward that goal.”

If you’re wondering whether it’s important that your therapist is queer and/or trans themselves, it’s only important if that is what’s important to you

This goes for most things in therapy: it’s your call! This is your experience, your time, your money, and your treatment. If finding a therapist who is queer and/or trans themselves is important to you, that’s totally valid.

“In my experience as an openly queer therapist, I find that many of my patients immediately feel more at ease knowing that I'm a member of the LGBTQIA+ community,” said Brie Scolaro. “However, I personally know many non-LGBTQIA therapists who are equally as able to connect with and effectively work with LGBTQIA+ folx.”

“While there are many shared social struggles across the community, each particular subgroup, such as trans or bi folx, face their own unique set of stressors and experiences,” they said. “It's important to understand that one's experience as a gay, white, cisgender man doesn't necessarily mean they understand and are competent in working with non-binary or BIPOC folx. Overall, it's more important to focus on how the therapist makes you feel than how they identify—Do they affirm, celebrate, and advocate your identity in its entirety, or do they see your LGBTQIA status as something to target or the root cause of your suffering?”